That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
