nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
