whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize