I want to stick my p in your. b.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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