Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
