what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
