He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
True strength comes from lack of pants
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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