Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
