youre lurking in front of me
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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