Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i believe in u and ur pee
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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