I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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