are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
