My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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