Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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