He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
