a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
