He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
