Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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