It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
