STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Randomize
