You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my being single is dangerous.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
