They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i drank out of a bidet.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
