There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
