remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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