had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
