I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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