Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I party with great urgency now.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
