bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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