Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
