you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
