Me. At least after what I've been through.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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