I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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