By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
