dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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