Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
