Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
