Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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