i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
