I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
