I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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