So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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