OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
