How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
