Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
