this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
