But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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