If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
