Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
it hurts more in the daytime
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
