Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
