smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
