Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just cut my nipple shaving
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
