Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
