I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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