Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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